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I Quit!

areyoulivingyourdream

The past weeks have been full of so much that I won’t try to recap for the blog; I’ll just pick up with where the journey has brought me thus far. (Also, be on the lookout for my 10, TEN, month review at the start of July next week.)

When I decided last fall to embark on this journey, I didn’t have much foresight into what it would hold. I did expect to be able to accomplish all the “assignments” which I now realize was a tad overambitious. I knew I was definitely interested in traveling around the world, but honestly, that part of it didn’t feel so real. I told a select number of people about the plan, and I talked about it with confidence, mostly trying to convince myself that it would really happen. As time progressed, I think I’ve had every emotion under the sun about the trip.

And now, just yesterday, I gave my workplace my resignation notice so I guess it’s official!

I’m really not sure what else to say about that.

I’ve had so many different emotions about resigning and leaving Michigan over the past year, and it’s completely surreal that it’s happening now. It feels empowering to embark on this trip, but it also feels overwhelming and all consuming, like I’ve just plunged myself into the waves of the unknown and now I’m not really sure which way is up. I know I’ve made plenty of other decisions that have changed the course of my life, but this decision just felt so final. At one moment I had complete control, and the next I felt so … exposed. I certainly wasn’t expecting was to feel so emotionally raw and spent after resigning.

But it’s absolutely and completely wonderful, too. I’M LIVING MY DREAM!!!!

!!!

Can’t believe it.

In the coming weeks, I’m really going to try to get back to blogging. Now that the end is so near, I have a renewed energy to push myself to the finish line, and I hope to accomplish a decent amount of things that are still on my list for this project. I’ll also have a lot of tips and info I’ll share about round the world travel, as I’ve learned so much over this past year about that. I’m also considering keeping the blog alive as I travel, but it’s been so touch and go over these past few months I’m not sure if I will be able to blog consistently once the project is actually over.

In any case. In conclusion, this quote has been reassuring to me as I commit and begin. Go begin something today! And let me know about it in the comments, if you please. 🙂

GoethesFaust

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In the closet

I have friends who self identify as artists. They use the term often and freely–in conversation, in their Instagram names, on their websites where they describe themselves as artists and creatives and all sorts of other deep things disguised amongst the buzzwords.

I, however, have had a long journey to self identifying as an artist, and even now, I would prefer not to use that term. I’m not a reallll artist like them. I would never put it out there so publicly.

I’m sort of a closet artist. I just try to live as creatively as I can each day. And some days that means I give an artful swirl to my peanut butter on toast or I pause for a few seconds to revel in the beauty of the steam lifting off my freshly poured coffee or the way the sun feels just so–which after a record breaking michigan winter (in both length and severity) is certainly something deserving of reveling.

But obviously I hope for the other days too, where I am more like the “real” artists. I love finding this new way of art and creativity in every minute thing because it has given me the freedom to embrace an identity as an artist– one I never thought I needed, but somehow sort of came to find me and camp out like a stray dog refusing to leave until I patted it on the head and said fine, you can stay. You can be mine. I will be an artist.

And secondly, it’s a lot less scary to be an every-moment artist. For your craft to be all those little hidden secret things, and occasionally bigger public things, but only when you feel really good about it. It takes away all the risk and vulnerability.

But maybe it takes away some of the honesty too. And so–I’m working on continuing the baby steps towards leaving my secret artist closet and fulling embracing what it could be to be “real artist”.

One of the books I’m reading right now is “Art and Fear”, and it’s been very helpful in this path of learning so far. Hopefully I can finish it soon and get some notes and quotes up from it.

AND I’ve got something special planned for Foto Friday this week. It should actually even happen on Friday. Woohoo!

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